back to school

We had back to school night. Wow what a stress. Anticipating what events will arise as we enter the new adventure of another year at school. How many times will I get a call from the teacher or the office. D.'s teacher seems amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! J.'s teacher eehh not so much. I hope that maybe she is like me and gets all shy and nervous in front of the parents but shines when with her class. Is that looking on the bright side? I am sooooo nervous about going to the new school. Part of it is not knowing what to expect. I don't like change or not knowing. I like to control everything and I feel very out of contol in this element. Every time I start to feel OK about going there I hear another horror story and think that is it I can't send my kids there. I just pray that it will be OK. I am probably more nervous then they are. I hope that I can survive this. I hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like crying every time that I think about it. What if they don't make any friends and are picked on. Not just D. either. My little J. going all day(sigh) what am I going to do with out him here smiling and giggling all day. I just wish that I could glimpse the future to see if we all make it this year. I am probably overly paranoid but I can't help it.

A side note nothing to do with this but......"the lady" from swim lessons( bad me never learned or asked her name) told me today, at the last day that she told her husband about a lady that she met at swim lessons and how much she admired my strength and courage and faith in sending my D. into the real world and public school. How funny I admire her and was talking about her, and she admired me. Life is just funny I guess.

Another side note about another earlier post........ I mentioned some lessons that I had learned from a church meeting and "the lady" from swim lessons. Let me just point out that I may have recognized and learned the lessons but not necessarily will I actually fully learn and apply them. I am much too lazy or busy to apply change to my life. Or scared may be the better word for it. This rut that I am in is comfortable and easy because I know it so well. Or maybe I just like being Satan's friend. (Big J/K) I think that I need to hear my friend's talk again with the parable of the contact lenses to inspire me more into action.

I seem to have rambled on at bit randomly. I don't think that my brain has caught up yet from that wonderful book group Tuesday night. My friend appropriately(sp) calls "group therapy". I didn't even get "grounded" by my hubby for being 1 1/2 hour past my curfew.
Sorry more randomness.